A Guide for
Raising Capable Adults in the 21rst Century
By Krishinda Powers Duff
(Mother, Midwife and lazy parent)
It’s unusual that one would proudly describe themself as a lazy parent but this is the point of this entire book. There is nothing usual or uniform about parenting. Over the past 50 years or more, Western parents have turned to books and now more recently, television programs, for parenting tips and advice. The ‘how to be a good parent; industry is a multimillion dollar business. Over the past 5 decades we as parents have lost our way through the undermining of the consumerist society we live in.
Parenting used to be thought of as a natural progression of having sex and getting pregnant. We fell in love, or lust, did the deed, got knocked up and roughly nine months later became parents. That was it. There were no ‘Super Nannies’ to the rescue, unless you count Mary Poppins in book. video or DVD form. We muddled through, doing or Not doing what our parents did for us. We got it wrong sometimes, very worng and we got it right, amazingly right. But for the most part we did a bit of both and managed to raise our children without spending a fortune on therapists, how to books and appearing on cheap talk shows to bear our soul about how horrid we were as parents.
So what has happened to modern day parents that we have no confidence in just getting on and raising our children? I think the best place to start, like all things, is at the beginning. Well sort of the beginning. I won’t start at conception because that’s a whole other book, but I will start with pregnancy, seeing as how I am a Midwife and that’s what I know well.
From the moment a woman finds herself pregnant she has about 2 minutes of of joy and excitement. if of course it is a wanted pregnancy. From that point her body is no longer her own. It becomes the repository of so called ‘expert’ opinions, rules and societal values that are in fashion at the time. Everything she thought she knew about her self becomes something to question, doubt and improve. How she; eats, sleeps, dressed, walks, talks and thinks. The music or books she reads (god forbid she does not read, because what kind of mother does not read her new born baby bedtime stories? How will they ever grow into to the super geniuses that will save our planet from all of our ignorance?)
An expectant mothers confidence is shaken by the very people who are meant to give her confidence. Her midwives, doctors and friends. I am not so sure about the order I’ve written this in but you get the picture.
Pregnancy now days is all about RISK. Are you a high or low risk kind of gal? I mean really? I used to think that being high risk meant I was fun loving, kinda of wild and unpredictable. You know, an anything can happen kind of girl that drove men or women wild with the thought that anything could happen with me along. I thought ‘low risk’ ladies were librarians who drank tea and got a wee bit saucy by shagging with the lights on. How could I have been so wrong? How could I have known that simply having a higher BMI or living past the age of 35 made me a high risk kind of girl. I could have saved a lot of time and money, not to mention brain cells if only I had seen my self in this very different ‘high risk’ light.